But it's not so simple. Contemporary studies show us that we're largely wired to be who we become. Our genetic inheritance is far more powerful than anyone might have guessed. Twins separated at birth meet one another decades (even lifetimes) later and discover they have the same tastes, or quirks, or habits, or . . . . Even when they're raised in different parts of the country by different kinds of folks, they find deep similarities in each other. So do the experts who study them.
Case in point: I met a lovely family today (mother, daughter, her husband and their small daughter) who demonstrate the force of nature and nurture. The young woman was adopted at four days old by loving parents, raised and educated by them, bonded to them for life. She has, however, also met her birth mother, whom I know. They are now friends, or something even closer. The young woman's adoptive mother told me an illustrative story: "When we went to Colorado, I walked behind my daughter and her birth mother. Their legs, their voices, their gaits so alike. They were in deep conversation. I realized then that I have two daughters."
Upon meeting the young woman, I was immediately struck by how much she sounds like her birth mother, by how much she looks like her and uses her eyebrows expressively like her. Most powerfully and persuasively, though, she loves books as do all members of her birth family. Her adoptive mother told me that from the time she was a toddler, she has always loved books.
I couldn't help thinking today as I watched my new young friend and her daughter reading together how strong the pull of nature is and how glorious the nurture.
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