Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

At least has gone to Sewanee.

Not one of his three female companions nor I would touch the two full swim diapers on the beach bench.

T---, however, simply picked them up, holding each by thumb and forefinger, hands held well before his body, and then strolled casually to the trash can no more than 15 paces away.

The girls said, "We wouldn't have done that!"

Nor would I.

But T--- did.

He was the hero four women needed!

(Note: the women did best him in their newt netting, a loss he accepted without embarrassment, and all cheered when he finally called out, "I got one!")

Gracie's Very Big Day

Licked ice and investigated a discarded plastic food tray.

Declared the liquor and wine bottles, beer cans, and huge plastic Sun Drop bottle lining the lake disgraceful.

Pointed at a bird and nest and leapt in fear when said bird flew away.

Beamed in sunshine.

Wandered the perimeter of the lower field and drank from the stream.

Studied an angel and listened politely to a lady chat about her daily visit to her husband's and two children's graves.

Enjoyed the big pet offered by a VISTA volunteer who loves her time in Sewanee.

Sniffed a pole while her walker snapped reflections on spotless University vans.

Accepted a biscuit for being a good girl on her return home after an hour-and-a-half walk.

Then bolted through the door and ran in big circles for about twenty minutes before plopping on her porch!

Welcome to Lake Finney: Home of Big Claw!

Warning!

Big Claw, a 5-inch (or thereabouts) Red Swamp Crayfish, properly named Procambarus clarkii, inhabits the cigarette-butt, liquor-bottle, beer-can, go-cup, grill-lighter fluid, rotten-dock, fast-food-wrapper, frat-trash filled lake sandwiched by the Chi Psi house, Courts Hall, Trezevant Hall, and one private house.

When Big Claw emerges and scampers to one of its many mud holes, it may notice you -- eventually -- and suddenly rise up like a '50s horror-film monster, waving its pincers threateningly while swiftly backtracking to the water, where it dives under moldy leaves and garbage, leaving only air bubbles visible on the surface.

If, like me, you startle, you will stare, gape-mouthed, and blurt, "Holy moly! That's one BIG crayfish!"

That red-pimpled crustacean has mastered one thing that the rest of may have to learn: how to thrive in the refuse of others.

Forget Monteagle's welcome sign warning of Big Foot; Sewanee: University of the South is proud to be home to BIG CLAW!