Cell Phone 1, Robley 0

Finally, dipped my toe in and drowned.

Yes, at the urging of members of my family, I entered the smartphone pool.

But only a weensy bit: an AT&T Gophone.

First, I couldn't figure out how to open the package.

Then I couldn't figure out how to remove the back of the case. (Thanks to a friend who showed me how.)

Then I couldn't figure out how to change some basic settings.

Next I couldn't figure out how to get the pre-purchased minutes usable.

Then I made two members of my immediate family nervous when I messaged them. They responded "Who is this?" I assumed they would see my name.

Finally, the phone locked me out, and no matter what I did, it stayed locked.

After an hour with a helpful AT&T woman online (who answered "Because I have three kids and have been married for sixteen years" when I asked how she could be so patient helping people like me all day long), the phone is working again.

Until I fail again.